safe in the storm

Well on Monday it was a week since my last radiation treatment. You would think that I would be super happy and over the top about it, and I am. I am also conflicted. I think that lots of cancer patients go through this. I know I did the last 2 times so I am not sure why I did not realize it would happen this time also.
You finish your treatment and then you think. Wow now I am not fighting and I might need to still be fighting. Now I have to wait to see if it worked. It is kind of a scary time. One where every little ache or pain makes you think. HMMM is this something..... should I go to the doctor........ I wonder how they will treat it this time. Then you have to grab your mind back and say. I AM 52. I will have unknown aches and pains. That is normal.

 Yes that is a man in the light house door. The Lord is keeping him safe in the storm. He can keep me safe in mine.

SOOOO now I am going to work at keeping control of my mind again. When I feel a little afraid I will  ask Dan to pray for me. I will not go lay down and cover up and just want to take a nap where I can get away from it. Cancer will not rule my life. I will let you know how I am doing. AND if you think of me please say a prayer for peace of mind for me. Love you all.

Dr Tiffany

Well I saw Dr Tiffany today my medical Oncologist. I really like her.
She was looking over the last pathology report and it showed that the Estrogen was 1% positive?
It has been a triple negative because it has showed no signs of being positive. 1% is not much, but could take it to the realm of possible other types of hormone therapy. She is sending it off to a different lab that has some new test that has become available in the last month and see what they say. She is also going to be talking with another Oncologist in Portland about my case and see if there is any Chemo that he would suggest. As of right now she is thinking not because this bugger made it through the whole on slot of chemo drugs in 2010. She felt that it would not respond well again to those ones. Then there is the possibility that the radiation killed all that was left. I go back in 2 and a half weeks to talk about the most recent pathology report that should be back by then and see what the other Dr thinks. I am open to what they think I should do. Excited that it might not be a triple negative, not sure about hormone therapy. So you can say I am a bit confused, not scared and looking forward to answers. The key thing here is that there is a good chance I don't have cancer any where.That is what I am going to focus on and take each day as it comes. I will do follow ups with my Radiation oncologist, Medical oncologist and my surgeon. I am to call them if I have any pain any where that is not explainable.  I am on it.

Today is my last radiation treatment for this Cancer.

I am looking forward to 1:o'clock today.It will be my last radiation treatment for this cancer. YAAAAAA.
Yesterday was my 52 birthday and this is a great gift. Yesterday it was snow and today it is that I will be done. I had a great lazy day at home watching it snow off and on and loving it.

Rachael brought over the most crazy amazing flower arrangement that she made for a celebration of the end of  my treatment. My kids and My Big Sweet hubby are such a great cheering section for me.
Some of these blooms are as big as a lamp shade. It is not the camera making them look GIANT they really are.

Pace your self

Pace your self is what the doctor said today. He knew that I would be very fatigued at this point. He said that the fatigue will get worse and last for about 2 weeks after my last treatment . That this more focused treatment will make it worse.  The Dr came in and with a smile on his face said congrats only 6 more treatments. Caught off guard I was thinking WHAT???? then I knew he was pulling my leg. It is only 3. He and several people asked what we were going to do to celebrate. We have a trip to the beach planned at the end of the month.

When we were leaving the hospital today there was a man in the lobby in a wheel chair and a hospital gown he also had on a giant smile under neath his oxygen tubes. He was at a table with his guitar out playing a old Beatles song. We smiled at each other and I just had a big thank you in my heart for him.
I can appreciated so much when you are down to lift yourself up and others. He was floating a few Boats today. God Bless him who ever he is.


This is the view from the condo we rented for our celebration

I can almost taste the fresh crab.

The bed was very important as I am a bed snob. It has to be comfortable. Most important piece of furniture in any house

only 4 more treatments

Oh yes I am so close. It is going good. My burn is so much better. They are not radiating the shoulder area any more so it is already starting to heal. My sternum is a little tan not so much red.
I am very fatigued from it, but I can live with i.............3...2...1. I am looking forward to not going to the hospital every day. I have a appointment with my regular Oncologist on Tuesday to discuss the treatment I had. What is next. What tests do I get, when do I get them, how often I go back and see her. What am I looking for now.

I hope you dance

YES!!!!! no more radiation on this already red part. Today started 10 treatments ( I had one) on just my sternum area. As you can see in this photo my skin has been burnt the color of my bright red lipstick. It is very sore and in my arm pit area it has already broke open and is healing now. It got more tan than red in that area.

I just love the people giving me my treatments. They know I love music so they always find a song for me and turn it up. Today was I hope you dance. Very fitting. This plays as the little red and green Lazar lights rotate in straight lines across the ceiling of the treatment room. It was so fast today. I went from 21 fields to 5. Only 9 more to go. They are closed on the 16 so I will be done on the 17th. OH YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel bad complaining because I know that I am but a speck in the vast sea  of people dealing with something and so many have it worse. I will keep praising the Lord for each day.

P.S.  Rachael gets her drains out this afternoon and her first expander fill. She is on the road to recovery.  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2SfmcNg8js